Have Yourself a Merry (and sensible) Little Christmas
by Lia06
Summary: Over the course of seven Christmases, Edward Ferrars and Elinor Dashwood go from tentatively amiable acquaintances to best friends to ever so much more.


Blurb: Over the course of seven Christmases, Edward Ferrars and Elinor Dashwood go from tentatively amiable acquaintances to best friends to ever so much more.

* * *

**Year One: 2006**

It was the first Christmas since my absurdly obnoxious half-brother, Geoffrey, had married the equally obnoxious Addie Ferrars. And for some reason that I couldn't quite understand, my normally logical parents had invited Geoff, Addie, and her family to our house for Christmas dinner. Addie was from England, and my brother had met her while studying abroad his junior year of college. Most of Addie's family was still in England, and therefore unable to attend Christmas dinner at the Dashwood family home. However, Addie's younger brother, Edward, lived in the States and had accepted the invitation.

Addie had two brothers, both of whom I had met at the wedding. I couldn't remember which one was Rob and which one was Edward. I did remember that one was them was quite handsome and the other one looked like Hugh Grant had been cross-bred with a really ugly horse. I didn't know which brother was which, but Marianne and I were betting serious money that Ed was probably the equine one.

On Christmas Day, however, we were proven to be incorrect. Edward Ferrars was, simply put, stunning. Tall, slender in a masculine way, light brown hair, and gorgeous blue eyes; he was, as Marianne said, a ten. And he had an amazing personality, as I learned when I ended up sitting next to him at dinner.

"So you teach high school, right?" he asked.

I nodded. "I teach high school English."

"Awesome," he said. "I'm working on my doctorate in English at the U. I'd love to talk about theory and books with you sometime."

I grinned. "That would be great."

"I'd love to have someone who really understands," Edward continued. "My girlfriend works in a coffee-shop and doesn't understand my passion for literature at all."

At the sound of the word girlfriend, I swear the sound of my dreams of marrying him crashing and burning was audible on the moon.

* * *

**Year Two: 2007**

Geoff and Addie hosted Christmas dinner, which meant that Edward was there. His girlfriend, however, was not. "She spends the holidays with her family and I spend them with mine," he explained when I asked if they were still together.

"I feel like that's a little casual," Marianne remarked.

Edward shrugged. "It feels a little adolescent to me, but that's how Lucy wants it."

"And you always give her what she wants?" my sister insisted.

He shrugged. "I think that she deserves the best."

"Well, I think that Elinor deserves the best, but I don't think that she always gets it."

I could feel myself blushing. "Mare, stop it," I said. "We don't need to bring me into this conversation."

"But you do deserve all the best life has to offer," my sister insisted. "And you're just stuck as this eternally-single underpaid English teacher at a private school for wealthy kids who don't appreciate you. You deserve the best of everything, and no one ever appreciates you."

"I appreciate Elinor," Meg protested. Meg was twelve at the time and she did appreciate me.

"And I very much so appreciate you," I told my sister.

"And that's all well and good," Marianne persisted. "But other people don't appreciate you. You deserve so much more than you have."

I sighed. "Marianne, I love you for what you're saying but you must understand that I am truly content with my life."

"Oh what is contentedness when one could be blissfully happy?" my sister almost swooned.

I rolled my eyes. "And besides, I think you're making poor Edward feel a little uncomfortable."

Edward had been examining his glass of wine as if it could explain the meaning of life to him.

* * *

**Year Three: 2008**

Three important things happened in my family in 2008. First, my father died of a heart attack in January. Then, Geoff and Addie's first (and only) child, Henry, was born and named after my father. And then, my mother moved out of the house where she had lived with my father and into a smaller house in another city "for reasons both of comfort and economy."

And once again Edward came to Christmas dinner, which Geoff and Addie were hosting because my mother's house was too small for their tastes. Edward was kind, sweet, and still deliriously in love with his girlfriend, Lucy. "I'm planning on proposing to her on New Year's Eve," he told me. "So hopefully, you'll meet her next Christmas."

"That sounds delightful," I told him before taking a large gulp of wine. "I've always wanted to meet her. After all, any girl who would win your heart must be absolutely wonderful."

"Oh, Lucy is the sweetest thing on earth. You'll love her. I have a feeling that you two will end up being best friends."

I smiled. "Let's just wait and see on that one."

He grinned. "Well, on another topic, what do you think of your sister's new boyfriend?"

"George Willoughby?" I asked. My sister had insisted upon bringing her starving artist/trust fund baby boyfriend to Christmas dinner. Addie and Geoff were looking down their noses at him as they looked down their noses at everything my sisters and I did. My mother adored George because he was always polite to her. But Meg and I were skeptical of him because he seemed too good to be true.

"Yeah, unless she's secretly dating someone else that I don't know about?"

I snorted. "Nope, Marianne is all George all the time. He is by far her favorite topic of conversation, so if you don't want to hear about George, you'd do well to avoid Marianne most days."

"Good gravy, that sounds awful."

I shrugged. "It is kind of rough on a single girl, but I've learned to live with it. She loves him, and he makes her happy. So I've just learned to listen to her and be happy because she's happy."

"Elinor, I'm sure I've told you this before, but you're too nice for your own good."

"She's my sister and I love her. I have to be nice to her."

Edward sighed. "Let's not fight at Christmas please."

* * *

**Year Four: 2009**

As the year began, Lucy Steele had accepted Edward's marriage proposal but they were planning a long engagement-at least two years, possibly more depending on when Edward finished his doctorate. Additionally, she would continue to live in Chicago, her hometown and the city where they met, until they were married. "It was her idea, not mine," Edward had told me over coffee in mid-February. "I don't really understand why, but it makes her happy, so that's what we're doing."

"You're too nice," I told him.

"I love Lucy, and I want her to be happy."

In April, my sister and George broke up for no apparent reason. He moved away and social media told us that he started dating someone else very quickly. My sister turned into a moping mess, and she was still in that funk by the time Christmas came. (Mercifully, she didn't know about his Christmas Eve engagement to Sophia Gray, thanks to a late August hacking of her Facebook and Twitter accounts by Edward. He had done this "in the defense of your sanity.")

And I wasn't much better than Marianne on Christmas since that was the Christmas that I finally met Edward's fiancée. She was pretty and charming and sickly sweet. She was essentially cotton candy in human form. She was trying to make all of us like her.

I almost liked her. Sure, I told Edward that I liked her. But if I was being entirely honest, which I wasn't going to be, something about her rubbed me the wrong way.

"You and I are going to be best friends," she told me, grabbing my hand tightly. "Eddie loves you. You two are BFFs. And the two of us, you and me, we're going to BFFs too. We're going to hang out all the time. Hey, you wanna be in our wedding?"

I gulped. "Lucy, we just met."

"Hey, that's okay. Eddie loves you, so you must be wonderful. Say you'll be in my wedding. I don't have many girl friends. And I don't think that Eddie's sister likes me. So right now, my only bridesmaid is my sister, Annie, and she's kind of annoying. I mean, she talks all the freaking time. She never stops talking. But she's my sister, so she has to be in my wedding, right? But I can't only have one bridesmaid; that would make me look pathetic and I can't look pathetic on my own wedding day. So say you'll be my bridesmaid, please?"

Before I could reply, Marianne yanked my hand free of Lucy's. "Sorry, sweetie, but she's busy. I need Elinor in the kitchen right now."

"But I'm asking her to be in my wedding."

"She can't be in your wedding," Marianne replied. "And I'm almost sorry about that."

"Why can't she be in my wedding?" Lucy whined.

"Because I said so," my sister said flatly. "And I won't let my darling sister be in your wedding just because you're afraid of looking pathetic. Being a bridesmaid out of pity is almost as pathetic as asking someone to be your bridesmaid to avoid looking pathetic."

"That doesn't even make sense though."

Marianne started walking towards the kitchen, still holding my hand. "I'm trying to tell you that you're pathetic and my sister can't be in your wedding."

* * *

After we arrived in the kitchen, my sister sighed. "I cannot for the world see what Edward sees in her."

"They say love is blind," fourteen-year-old Meg piped up.

"Well, they are definitely right in Edward and Lucy's case," Marianne replied.

"In their case," my youngest sister said. "Love is probably also deaf."

Even I couldn't help laughing at that one.

* * *

**Year Five: 2010**

My mother was hosting Christmas. Marianne was now dating the infinitely marvelous Christopher Brandon. Edward was still engaged. And I was still alone. I was planning on having a date with the leftover eggnog after everyone left. (And for the record, my mother's eggnog could probably raise the dead.)

Lucy wasn't coming for dinner. We learned this via Addie on December 23. She didn't know why, just that she wasn't coming.

* * *

Edward was late for dinner. This was very atypical for him. But with his thesis defense a mere three months away, Christmas dinner with my family probably wasn't on his list of priorities. I had barely seen him since the previous Christmas, and I hadn't seen him at all since July. Or he could have been on the phone with Lucy who was apparently spending Christmas with her own family again. I didn't really care where she was; I didn't need her trying to talk me into being in her wedding or trying to talk my ear off.

Edward and I were at opposite ends of the table during dinner. After dinner, I was alone in the kitchen doing dishes while everyone else was playing charades in the living room before presents and dessert. It was there that Edward found me. "If you could point me in the direction of the nearest towel, I'll give you a hand in here."

"What, you don't want to play charades?"

"I'm not a huge fan of public humiliation," he replied.

I handed him a towel. "Then how do you explain the whole doctoral defense thing you have coming up?"

He laughed. "That's a different kind of public humiliation. And I won't have to watch your sister canoodling with Chris Brandon while I'm doing it."

"What's wrong with Marianne and Chris?"

He sighed. "It's your sister. Two years ago, she was all over George Willoughby. Then, he turns out to be a cad, and she was a pathetic mess last Christmas. And now she has Chris, so she's Miss Merry Sunshine again and she's spending Christmas Day making sure that everyone in the world knows that she and Chris are together and they're happy together."

I nodded. "She's happy. He's happy, and he deserves to be happy; he's had a rough couple of years."

"I know he's had it rough the past few years, and I'm glad he's happy now. But I don't need to see it prominently displayed over my Christmas ham."

I sighed. "Edward, they're in love, and they're happy. What's wrong with that?"

"They're allowed to be happy. I don't mind the happiness. But I'm not a huge fan of the public displays of it. I'm not into that kind of thing."

"How does Lucy feel about that?" Surprisingly, it didn't sting to ask that question. I accepted that she had his heart, and I could never and would never have his heart.

He snorted. "She'd probably hate the thought, but it doesn't matter what she thinks."

"That's a fine attitude to have in a marriage."

Edward took a deep breath. "Elinor," he said softly. I always loved the way the syllables of my name danced gracefully over his British tongue. "Elinor, there will never be a marriage."

"No marriage?" I repeated.

He shook his head. "There will be no marriage, at least not between Lucy and me."

"You guys broke up?" I was shocked. I had never thought Edward would ever break up with anyone; he seemed too determined to be noble and honorable for that.

"We broke up."

"Why? When?"

"Just before Thanksgiving," he replied softly. "It appears that she can't handle the life of the wife of a university professor."

"How are you handling it?"

Edward shrugged gently. "I'm fine. It stung at first, but then after about an hour, I realized that she wasn't what I wanted and she never had been."

"I'm sorry," I replied lamely.

He shook his head. "Don't be. The great part about realizing that she wasn't what I wanted was that I realized what I did want."

I was too afraid to ask what he wanted, so I just nodded.

"And the most amazing part of it all was that I realized that what I wanted has been right in front of me for the past four years. And today I realized that it's always been right in front of me, and I never realized that of course this was what I wanted because it was perfectly natural."

"You want to canoodle over the Christmas ham like Marianne and Chris?"

He laughed. "No, my dearest Elinor, I do not. I think you know what I want."

The use of "my dearest Elinor" startled me, but I continued as nonchalantly as possible, determined to maintain normalcy. "To help me finish cleaning up around here so everyone has a truly happy Christmas?"

He stopped drying plates and looked at me. "Elinor, does this make you happy?"

I kept scrubbing plates and bowls. "It makes them happy."

"But does it make you happy?"

"I'm content," I replied.

Edward sighed. "Elinor, that's not enough."

"It is for me."

"Why?" he asked insistently.

"Because it has to be," I said almost flippantly.

"Elinor Beatrice Dashwood, being content is not enough. You are settling for content when you could be happy. You are sacrificing yourself so that other people can be happy."

"And what's wrong with that?"  
"You deserve more."

I sighed. "Marianne has been saying that for years. But life isn't giving me more. I have a good job, a loving family, and good friends. And that has to be enough for me because life is not giving me more than that. And I don't know why that can't be enough. Not everyone gets a Prince Charming. We don't all need fairy tale endings. Somebody has to clean up to make sure that the house doesn't get too littered with fairy dust."

Now it was Edward's turn to sigh. "We might not all need fairy tale endings, but that isn't my point. You deserve a fairy tale ending, and furthermore, I want to give you one."

It was at that moment that I did the only thing I could think to do logically. I threw up. But don't be worried. I threw up in the sink, not on Edward. And I didn't throw on the dishes, just in the empty basin of the sink where I had been rinsing dishes.

I quickly apologized. "I didn't mean for that to happen. It was completely an accident. I'm so sorry. I just-I didn't know what to do and it's Christmas and I think there's a bug going around school. It's just what happens when you teach high school. The kids get sick and cough and sneeze all over you and you think you're fine until…"

And he started laughing. "Oh Elinor, Elinor, Elinor, Elinor, shut up, or I'll shut you up. I love you. I love you and I want to marry you and grow old with you and give you a fairy tale ending. And I don't care if you throw up. You can throw up wherever you want. I just want to spend the rest of my life making you happy because that is what will make me happy."

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"Oh shut up," he replied.

"But do you really love me?"

How did Edward respond? He kissed me-firmly and passionately. He might have even swept me off my feet.

* * *

**Year Six: 2011**

In March, Edward successfully defended his dissertation and accepted a tenure-track position in the literature department at the University of Notre Dame for the fall of 2011.

In April, he proposed. Yes, it was a quick step from dating to engaged, but we'd been friends for so long that it just felt natural to make things official as quickly as possible. We moved to South Bend in early August. I got a job teaching eleventh and twelfth grade English.

And on Christmas Eve of 2011, I married Edward John Ferrars. And the next morning, we left on our honeymoon so that we didn't have any sort of drama on Christmas Day for the first time in years. Instead, we went to London for a week. At the time, I thought that was the best Christmas ever.

* * *

**Year Seven: 2012**

In May, we found out that I was pregnant and due in December, on Christmas Day in fact.

Alice Margaret Ferrars made her entrance into the world in the wee hours of December 25, 2012. And she could not have been more loved. Also, I could not have loved Edward anymore than I did the first time I saw him hold Alice the sheer joy, peace, love, and hope that I saw on his face in that moment were the most beautiful things in the world. And that was the absolute best Christmas present in the world. And that was the merriest Christmas ever.

And we did live happily ever after. For the most part.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review.


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